The New Bane of Life

Upon return to my computer I seem to have forgotten what it is I wanted to say. Today has mainly been taken up with reading Harry Potter, and now that I’ve finished, I’ve been left with the flat, curious slightly depressed and desperate feeling which now seems to follow reading any of the most recent potter books. Some of the stuff was definitely unexpected, well, at least stuff that, if it were to happen, which it did (wow, was that a seriously confusing series of words or what?) I didn’t expect until at least the seventh book. Possibly I’ll write more on that later (though I’ll put it in wingdings if possible so it wont ruin anything for anyone) But on another note (a resounding “middle C” I think….) Work Experience! Or more to the point: Stockings…

I had an awesome time at work experience! (and I think there are some people reading this who are severely sick of hearing about it, and might possibly hit me if they have to hear any more about it) The people were really great and helped me a lot, and the work was heaps interesting (and I’m not being sarcastic!) The one downside though, is that workplaces and skirts, when combined = s t o c k i n g s.

In my time I have called many things The Bane of Life. Sand, straws…even my previous bag, but one of the ultimate (and by that I mean definitely in the top 7) has got to be the female hating phenomenon that is: Stockings. It travels under many guises. Tights, pantyhose…and the list goes on…an interesting note on this - with the latter being an exception – these are words for pain, or the infliction of such. Stocks: In medieval times, they put people in these as a form of punishment and public humiliation. Tights: Well, anything wrapped tightly around you can cause pain, irritation, or even suffocation. Interesting that these terms should be used in conjunction with a form of attire, but then again, women’s clothing has never exactly been designed to be user friendly.

For example:
1) Corsets – need I say more? They were rib-breaking bones of whales aimed at making women look skinnier. They could crush your internal organs and make you faint.
2) Earrings – great, stab holes in your ears and hang things off them.
3) High-heeled shoes – they can cause permanent damage to your feet, and they hurt! (anyone who has been to a formal can attest to this fact)
4) Pointy shoes – another form of foot torture. Why not force five toes in towards one another diagonally ending in a point…other than the massive amounts of pain

And then there’s stockings…
Though they don’t cause pain so much, they’re just damned irritating. They cling to your legs, they never quite pull up all the way, and if they do, within half an hour you’re subtly trying to pull them up again (unless of course you’re at school, where you can pull them up without any subtlety whatsoever) and they make that gross noise when you pull on them, and they collect dust. Then with all that being said, they get ladders in them (though I have this down as a negative point, personally this is my favorite point about stockings…it’s amusing, and oddly entertaining to watch them get longer and longer)

Some women’s clothing is insane, and yet, though I recognise this fact, I, like most others out there, will continue on and be a hypocrite (though with the exception of pointy shoes…I draw the line at that) And why? For what? To tell the truth, I don’t really know. People could say that it looks good, it makes you attractive. But this is down to perception. It looks nice because you think it should look nice. Then again, this is the thinking behind most things. Though there are exceptions, for most things: something is irritating because you think you should be irritated by it, and something is boring because it is accepted as boring…and on that note I’ll wind this up with a new definition of The Bane of Life:

A sandy beach where the dress-code is stockings, where the most evil of inanimate objects reside.