Monday, October 24, 2011

Head Over Heels for Coordination


I have a special circuit in my brain. Initiated by the song "Staying Alive", I have to immediately quash the urge to strut down the street and violently force myself to stop imagining that I am carrying paint. Or a woman's man.

This negative feedback loop is important for two reasons.

Firstly, I don't want to look like a douche. Since my normal walk prompts comments such as "do you go through a lot of shoes?", adding a strut, swagger, saunter or any other "s" started adjectives would probably not do me any favours.

The second reason, and arguably more important reason is one of personal safety. I have a propensity to fall on, up, into or down things when I'm walking normally. Change anything, be it my shoes, an unfamiliar set of stairs or my general sense of oneness, I fall. Or stumble. Or hit my foot against something, and then embark upon a journey creatively devised pseudo-swearing.

This sounds even more ridiculous when coming from within the suitcase I've just fallen into.

NOTE: I just realised my graph is wrong.