Monday, February 27, 2006

Decisions Decisions

Whoever said that you become more decisive the older you get? (Actually, I don’t think anyone said it, but it did make for a more dramatic and forceful opening…I hope) Decisiveness, or lack there of. Why is it so difficult to make decisions?

Having just completed a Physics Practical which took a large chunk of the weekend, and several dollars off my subjective goodwill assets (gotta love accounting) through my many, many questions, it has now been shown that the experiment proves absolutely nothing.

So after an introduction that is worse than “Australia’s Brainiest…” jokes (and maybe even some of those quips “Biggest Loser” hosts come out with) what is the point?

The experiment. The whole point: find a linear function to show that period is directly proportional to radius, and show whether it is positive or negative. Fair enough. Pretty straight forward. At least, if you’re not in the group which managed to produce a Quadratic!!! Yes, that’s right. Logic goes straight out the window, because our results simultaneously support and disprove the hypothesis. The future of science is in good hands.

However, if you look at this result from a different angle, it is a fantastic representation of what has been an ever-increasing problem: indecisiveness.

Gone are the days when you could straight out answer “what is your favourite colour?” What once was “blue!’ has now become “it depends on what day it is,” or “what accessories can I match to it?”

Breakfast: it used to be YoGo, but with age comes responsibility, and with responsibility comes choices. Hot or cold? Yoghurt or Toast? (cereal doesn’t come into it) Peanut Butter or Nutulla? Nearly having a nervous breakdown going over pros and cons of various toppings the day of a big test? This is the reward for becoming “maturing young adults.”

I think the problem now is that we’re too informed. Life used to be black and white. Everything had one answer, and one alone. But now? It’s no longer the toss of a coin, or even the roll of a dice. Hey, we’d be lucky if it were a three dimensional do-decahedron shaped thingy… Too Many Options! Too Many Factors to Take into Consideration!!

Yoghurt is quick to eat (unless you forget a spoon) but can leave you in the weird state between full and bleugggh. Hot or cold depends on the weather outside. Peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth, and Nutella had lots of sugar…but really it comes down to how much time you have to brush your teeth before you leap down the lift shaft and into the bus.

But then after all the assessing and weighing, someone will ask you something, and there it is: The Rash Decision…

What else is there to say, but HELP!!!

Monday, February 13, 2006

The Jumpered Forest that is: Year 12

Being thwarted by 20 cent pieces, eating Teevee snacks, talking about bananas, waving our arms “like we just don’t care,” reading Monty Python autobiographies (mostly aloud during “The News”, much to the delight of ones parents) and watching “Saved” twice in one weekend; not exactly the year 12 that has been dreaded for the past thirteen years.

The first week of “responsibility, reason and bridging the gap between adolescence and adulthood” has gone off remarkably unremarkably. Arriving on the first day to be swallowed up by the deep mysterious depths of the earth, or, if your prefer, going down that sacred last flight of steps to the year 12 common room, we discovered that we had at last been rewarded with the trophies of success, a token of maturity, a symbol for all that we had achieved by getting to this point …and this was: wooden lockers!

Standing proud at about 170 cm, with width of about 8 mm, these hollowed out, non metallic, anti magnetic, trees proved to us that the Inanimate Objects are still hard at work behind the scenes. However, having spent the holidays completing “The Dolphin Puzzle” it was a *cough* welcome *cough* new challenge to fit all the books, folders, articles of clothing and most importantly: lunch, into these fiendish devices. (its fun the way nothing fits, and yet there’s still about a 70 cm void of nothingness in which many things could go if it were possible to gather air particles densely enough to enable objects to stand upon them…or if a shelf was installed.

Once the last folder was stacked precariously on top of a text book and beneath my hat, it was at last time to properly begin the year! (on first typing, “y” was omitted, leaving us starting a new “ear.” Great…)

It was then (well, actually about 6 and a half hours later, but SHHHH!!!) that history was made, when, Shock! Surprise! Amazement! Year 12 Jumpers arrived: ON THE FIRST DAY!!!

…the power is ours!!!

It’s amazing how by merely putting on an article of clothing can change the world around you (though, I guess this shouldn’t come as a surprise, being a witness to the horror that stockings can bring about…) Eyes turn, footsteps hasten, then scuttle away into the opposite direction. Voices raise in pitch (and occasionally crack!) as: freshly jumpered Year 12s walk through their newly claimed school.

Funny how you can become so reliant on a symbol, because now I don’t feel like I’m anywhere near old enough to be in this year when I’m not wearing the jumper. Jumper on: it’s like being a planeteer (take a break to sing the Captain Planet theme…here, I’ll start you off: Captain Planet: he’s our hero, gonna take pollution down to zero…*mumble mumble...can't remember the rest* ) Jumper off: the regression begins. I have this theory that the more you take it off, the further down in year levels you go. Today we’re back in year 11…by next Tuesday, who knows?

What is to be done about this new dilemma? On the one hand, are we being mentally affected by “The Jumper Phenomenon?” On the other hand, if we are, what can we do about it, because they’re so fleecy and nice?!?! Ogh! (to make a newly learnt “Educating Rita” noise) Decisions, decisions!

Anyways, unable to think of a “proper” conclusion:

“Gosh, if a man on a length of wire, stark naked suddenly swung across the stage, what would happen?” – Michael Palin

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Punching the Pantry

Walking back home through today’s random downpour, whistling “Singing in the Rain” and enjoying the irony maybe just a little bit too much, it was then that the realisation that there is less than a week left of free days left until: The-year-that-was-always-so-far-away-and-which-signifies-sudden-and-horrible-almost-adulthood.

What does this year mean? More homework, less sleep? Arranging your regular television programs into priority order in a vain attempt to see what you can axe from your schedule? Tidying up, to the point where your paperclips are colour coded and arranged merrily in size order lined up across your desk? Listening to movies while staring at a book, because you’re still being constructive, and it doesn’t really count as “watching.”

…how are we going to survive?

Well, cool and not nerd-like as I am, I have compiled a list of…stuff. Anyways, I thought I’d share with you all for when the work gets too much, there’s always random things that don’t makes sense that can make you feel a whole load better.

Quotes
· [while proposing] “I have four words that will change our lives forever.”
“The cloud is accelerating!!!” – Fantastic Four
· In “Once More With Feeling” Giles says “She need’s back up” followed by “Anya, Tara.” For two years I thought this was “I need a guitar.” Heh, weird.
· “D*mn!” said Carrot, a difficult linguistic feat – “Guards! Guards!” Terry Pratchett
· “A drunk clown hurt me once” – Scrubs
· “That’s why I’m a cat” – crazy guy in “The Real Me”
· “Ahasuerus…I think that’s how he said his name. It sounded like a sneeze.” – “Homeward Bounders” – Diana Wynne Jones

Random Thoughts
· an average person hits the snooze button on their alarm clock three times in the morning. Therefore, if you decide to wake up bright and early and make the most of life, you are below average.
· If a person decides to study mathematics intently, and make the focus of their study null values, and the effects of zero, they could tell people that they “really know nothing.”
· Everyone in a tv program or comic book lives in an alternate universe in some sense, because the television program/book they’re from does not exist where they are. This is particularly weird if it’s something famous or influential. For example, in Smallville, that program would not be on for Clark, Lana, etc. to watch, and no one in that world would ever have read a Superman comic book, because it had never come into being there. Thus, songs like “Superman” by Lazlo Bane, and “Superman” by Five by Fighting (wow these singers are creative people) would not ever have been written, and this would in turn affect Scrubs, which would have a different theme song!

Anyways, add stuff to the super list to help and keep us sane!