Life's Fun When You're Having Fun

“… and then they made me their chief.” It worked for Johnny Depp, so, unable to think of an adequate opening, why shouldn’t I launch into a paragraph mid-sentence? Well, grammer maybe…actually, no! Hey, because it’s a quote I can start midway through a sentence all I want :D Wow, life’s fun when you’re having fun.

So anyways, today was the UMAT, and so brace yourselves – here comes a rambling blow-by-blow account:

I could begin by asking you to cast your minds back, back to last night, but that would be wrong for two reasons:
1) I’m not beginning, because this paragraph is preceeded by two others, and,
2) It would be casting your minds back to your memories, which I could not possibly describe. Why? Two reasons:
a. Though I may have been there for some of it….

Right, that could go on forever, I’m starting again…well, by starting, I mean starting that paragraph again…but wait, that’s wrong, because if I was starting that paragraph again, I would have deleted it, and actually literally started it again. So by starting, I actually mean…

Ok. NEW paragraph. Last night was a flurry of flurriedness, as last minute practice-exam-doing was being done, my phone was kept under extremely careful surveillance as we tried to answer the all important, Shakespeare-esque question: “To Uniform or not to Uniform?” That [was] the question :P (Or, my personal favourite Spike Milligan poem: “Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I’ll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?”)

“The OC” was half watched, before scurrying (just try scurrying…it’s difficult) off to bed. After turning 45, 90, 60, -45, 45+90 degrees, and still managing to not be comfortable, sleep was finally achieved, and sustained, until the polyphonic-ised “Ride of the Valkyries” infiltrated my brain (but hey, it’s better than my alarm clock being what my phone calls “Groove” but which could better be described as “plonkety dirge”) After about fifteen minutes of pure faffing about, bread was transmogrified into toast, smeared with jam, then eatensoquickthatIendedupfinishingitinthecar.

We Smallvilled (that’s traveling while listening to the “Smallville” soundtrack) our way to the showgrounds, where I was one of the first few to arrive. Highlights of the wait included the doors being locked, so fellow UMATees were literally left out in the cold, until about ten minutes later, when we were sent to join them. It’s amazing how many people out of about a thousand you actually know or recognize.

After a surprisingly non-scary bottleneck, we were issued with a seat number, and ushered into the BIGGEST ROOM EVER!!! (That’s right, no other room in the history of MAN has EVER been the same size) Having filled in all the correct ovals, and marveled at the magnificent orangeness, It Began. Then stopped. “Can I please have your attention. Question 8: 1998 Forest Fires. I repeat. 1998 Forest Fires.” It was confusing. Other than that, it all went like clockwork (though I mean that in its intended context, its still a silly phrase. How many clocks are fast or slow and showing the wrong time?)

But anyway, overall its’ been a good day, not least because: DR WHO WAS ON THE FRONT COVER OF THE 7 DAYS LIFTOUT!!!