Even Xylophones Aren't Musically Sound

Once again it is that time of year in which we are assessed mentally, morally and resolvedly. Exam week: where you find out what you’re really made of, and most importantly, what is your brains tolerance range for copping a mental beating???

How do we survive? Not only are there the multi-houred exams, there is also the day after day after day of endless revision, from which you emerge with half a page of biology notes, and a detailed understanding of the paintwork over your desk.

Well, there’s the option of listening to the same song, time after time. However, this can be dangerous, because if you pick the wrong song to get you through these difficult times, you may end up singing the entire Oklahoma score solo in a desperate attempt to rid yourself of “Sloop John B” running around your head, bashing into sides, and defragmenting your newfound understanding of the complexities of photosynthesis. I would recommend Rainy Days – Guster, unless you’ve seen “Life as a House,” in which case, it’s up to your whether you want the image of Hayden Christensen’s character running away as his life and pants fall down around him, in your mind’s eye as you attempt to recall Coulomb’s Law. Hmm…

You could also inadvertently turn to superstition. This can appear in many different forms, such as having to listen to the same song each morning before you leave for your exam (No, not Rainy Days…) lest you do badly due to a break in the routine. This, not such a good thing. It’s preferable to avoid it…unless it’s too late, in which case: DON’T break the cycle!!!

And what of television? Why do those cruel, network people mock us with starting all of the best new shows in the one week in which we are “otherwise occupied.” Don’t they know that this gives rise to the “it’s ok to watch while I’m eating” rule? They just don’t think of all those poor, teenage girls around the country resorting to six meals a day, each one lasting for 43 minutes (the time a tv program runs without ads) plus tea? ( the drink, not the drink plus three biscuits) How sad to have forgotten ones own youth!

Then there’s the rare phenomenon of: having finished your exam half an hour early. Thankful as you are to not be rushing your last few pages, as the last of the ink is drying, the realisation that you have time to not only check back over your work, but that you have time to check back again and again sinks in, and suddenly you find yourself wishing that you had worked just that little bit slower, as the mountainous task looms. Having checked three times, and still having ten minutes left, what can one do with oneself? Some twiddle there thumbs, but keep in mind, that some of us just aren’t coordinated enough to do so, resulting in serious sounding clicks, and severe pen droppage.

Never forget that there is time between exams. It’s not real time, in the normal world sense; it’s like two hours which have escaped from the twilight zones, in which those who are strong consolidate, and others drop padlocks on their hands. (though, it is possible to do both. I hope.)

Well, exam week is an unpredictable and trying time. What I do know however, is that come Tuesday afternoon, I will be standing in the quadrangle, arms outstretched, looking up at the sky ala Andy Dufresne. (rain pending) If anyone would care to join me; that is what we’ll do.