Soap Rant

When brain-ache’s come knocking at your forehead, and you wake up to find that your throat has been mysteriously sandpapered in the night, how does one cheer themselves up?

( Note: Not with generous servings of Specialist Maths questions)

No, the way to cheer yourselves up is with a good, old fashioned Soap Rant! What’s that? Well, for everyone who hasn’t experienced one, I’ll transcribe one as follows:

Cast your mind back to when the formal had just finished, with tornado-proof hair, and ouchy-feet, something to look forward to was a loooong shower. Now, pretty much anyone who’s seen Psycho is already a bit on edge when embarking upon a mission of cleansing, so any sudden shocks can tip you over the edge of your nerve limit.

Anyways, this was my mind-frame on that Sunday – this was my mind-frame when I discovered that the tranquility scented soap, wasn’t as tranquil as it proclaimed to be!

Standing calmly, trying not to shampoo your eye – reach out for the glint of purple at the corner of your vision only to discover….

FREAKY SOAP FACE!!!



...ok, a bit random I know, but I'm SLEEPY!

Squash Asparagus

What’s the definition of a “good time”? This could be a deep and meaningful, philosophical question - it could be rhetorical. Or, it could be straightforward.

This question that has plagued us (well, maybe not so much…hands up whoever’s had loooong sleepless nights of pondering “The True Meaning of Fun”?) *cough* finally has an answer!

…and truly, who though it would involve red frogs with protruding hearts/legs, ritual group animal-print balloon sacrifice, kiwi stamped napkins (serviettes?), flower shaped butter, “being attacked by sharks,” eating cake with improvised tongs, the pitter patter of painful feet, flaunting it “what your mamma gave you”, doing U-turns on dark roads while “bussing it”, flower-fueled head-banging, staring down the barrel of a camera, discovering the monarch of all things pancake, the lies, deception and subterfuge of the Non-Wedge, and an accidental subscription to a year’s worth of rain?

The 2006 Black Watch Formal is GO!

I was surprised to discover this actually, as a person who ardently despises being in photos, can’t dance, and who could actually win an Oscar for comedy merely by tottering around in high heels, my expectations were not Apollo high...(The Einstein Factor teaches me new things)

That’ll teach me for having a negative attitude…It all comes down to relaxation in the end (but not tranquility…more on that another day) Careful though…if you’re too off guard, you’ll find yourself revealing the finer facts of your past… Take this from having learnt the hard way: you might think that everyone stockpiled butter packets in case of earthquakes when they were young…but you’d be wrong :P All in all, what I'm trying to say is: WOOT!

So unable to think of a way to adequately finish this off, lets get into some serious mathematics:

Calmness = Good Photos (bar some, where the dubious face may need to be implemented - _ -
Cake + Fork + Spoon = Much Confusion
Table + Lollies = Endless Fun
Table – Lollies = Ended Fun
Hair + Hedge/Wall/Hanging Light = Zany Highjinks and Tangles :)
Asparagus = Leftovers
5 x 3 = 15

Hope everyone had an AWESOME Saturday!!!

Unexpected Scrutiny

It was one day, when I was sitting in the car, that the realisation finally hit me. For my whole life, until that point, the thought had never really crossed my mind, or if it had, it had been of so little significance, that I had cast it aside before really going into the depths of it. The fact is, you are not, as previously thought, in your own, relatively private world, shaded behind the surrounding glass: you can be seen, by everybody and anybody… you are horribly exposed to the outside world.

Now maybe this doesn’t sound that remarkable. I mean, obviously, people can see you, it’s not as though I used to think that, the moment you hopped into the car, you assimilated yourself into a world of invisibility, where, behind the tinted windows, you could do as you liked. But, there was always a sense, that when you’re in your car, you’re not as apparent to the outside world, as you are when, say, you’re walking down Rundle Mall wearing a jumper of which you are dubious about the nature of its social acceptability…(or, looking as though you have just emerged from spending the last week of your life living in a puddle, as I did this morning…quote of the day: ((little girl talking to her dad, and pointing at me)) “look at that lady’s hair ”) It was just the sudden shock of realising, you are just as visible when you are coasting along the road, as when you are out walking.

The same thing applies when you’re a pedestrian. You don’t think anyone’s watching you as prance about, swinging bags, or stacking it over a loose piece of pavement, because they’re just cars whizzing by, not people…

How wrong we were. Anyways, that thought weirded me out, so I thought I’d share.

To put a Harry Potter spin on the matter:
“CONSTANT VIGILANCE!”